Never once did I ever walk alone

Last weekend, I was part of a panel at a singles retreat held for college students. Students submitted questions which served as a guide for the panel discussion. The entire experience was terrifyingly wonderful - honest and real vulnerability meets attempting to effectively communicate my unique journey. Some of the student questions really struck me and they've been on my mind all week. I'd like to share a few, along with my current thoughts.

• "What is the best way to remind yourself that there isn't something wrong with you just because you are single?"
• "If God has told me to wait, how do I do that?"
• "I avoid relationship in fear of being vulnerable. How can I get over this?"
• "I've heard 'be content with God' or 'only God can make you complete' so much. I know the Bible says that but don't think I've experienced it. Can that legitimately be achieved?" 
• "How has your view of singleness changed throughout your life?"

My only response to each of those questions is God's Word! Truth about who I am in Christ, how I am perfectly loved by God, where I am being led by the Spirit needs to consume my mind and my heart. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, in the image of God, designed to worship Him with my life on this earth - being single doesn't change the truth. Waiting for the Lord means resting in His promises and going about the work of being a disciple, trusting the Faithful One to complete the work He began in my life - being single doesn't change the truth. Loving the Lord with all your heart, soul, and mind and loving your neighbor as yourself requires transparency, vulnerability, and sacrifice - being single doesn't change the truth. Like Paul, I can learn to be content in all circumstances because it's up to Christ's strength and not my own - being single doesn't change the truth.

Ten years ago, I was angry about being alone and confused as to how to change that. Today, I'm thankful that God sustains me through my loneliness and the Spirit counsels me through decisions, both large and small. Being single has opened up incredible opportunities to travel, invest in the lives of students around the world, and maintain and build a support system of family and friends. I completely understand that I could have done all of those things while married. But experiencing all of those things as a single woman was God's absolute best for me. As part of His larger picture, I needed singleness to shape and mold me. Maybe I won't always need singleness, so I'm asking the Lord for marriage to be a part of my future. I can trust that God will continue to provide His best in my life, whether single or married.


I wish I had been this organized in my thoughts when the microphone was in my hand. I hope and pray that what I was able to communicate to the students was profitable. But what a privilege this opportunity was because it has given me a chance to sort through some of my own thoughts on the topic. And each of those questions that stirred my heart, sometimes with fear, forced me back to the truth. Ultimately, that's where I need to live my life, regardless of its circumstances...the gracious, loving, and holy Truth of God.