Choices

The infinity of God is a curious thing. I know it will remain a mystery since I am a finite being. Even more constricting, I’m a finite being with a compulsion to analyze and organize. That works out just fine when I’m looking to make connections with a few variables. But God has infinite variables that connect perfectly to include a master plan for the universe, which involves details about my role, purpose, and place in that universe. When I feel unsettled within my role, purpose or place, the vastness of His being and His plans overwhelm me. I attempt to sort out the single aspect of God's identity that will give me clarity and direction. I usually find countless aspects that could send me down multiple avenues, all of which could be "right", crippling my comfort zone of sorting through the options until I've chosen correctly. So I wander, seemingly aimless, begging to be told what to do so that I don't have to bear the responsibility for choosing poorly. 

During these past months of navigating one of those episodes, I actually have settled on one aspect of God to give me the courage to make some decisions - He is sovereign. He cares about the logistics of my life - what I do for a living, where I live, how I choose to spend my time. And yet, I think He really uses those logistics as a means to accomplish what He is passionate about: molding me into the likeness of His Son. Although He knows what I will choose for a job, He can use any profession to create in me a heart of compassion, mercy and love. My physical location of residence will always provide people and circumstances that He uses to teach me to trust, rest, and stand firm, regardless of the postal code. Knowing that He will use any job and any home for His glory means that I can choose one of the options before me without fear.

So I've taken the first steps in choosing a new path. After a year and half of living on my own, I will be moving to my brother-in-law and sister's flat. I'm forever grateful that the Lord saw fit to let me be related to these amazing friends and siblings. I'm looking forward to the coming months of sweet fellowship and community. After 13 years of teaching math at varying levels, the current school year will be my last year as a teacher at Riverside and I will not be looking for a different teaching position for the fall. My heart, body, and soul needs a break from teaching. After I finish the school year, I plan to spend the summer with my friends and family on this side of the ocean. Then Texas will be home. Beyond that, I'm still sorting through the endless possibilities and options. But, thankfully, I'm not paralyzed or aimlessly wandering. I'm humbled to know that my choice will be the vessel God uses to help me grow. When it is time, I'll make my choice and take the next step.

I'm so thankful for the time that I've had in this city. And I'm grateful for the amazing people that have given me countless sweet memories. I'm looking forward to the many more adventures and experiences over these remaining months!