Hiemlich anyone?

What a semester....what a year. Over the last week, I've been thinking about the Hiemlich maneuver quite a bit. Strange, I know, but let me try to explain. During the cold winter months in Prague, many moons ago, I had lunch duty at school. One of our 7th grade students was choking on a piece of pasta. It terrified me - her lips were turning blue and you could see the fear in her eyes. Selfishly, I hope she didn't see the fear in mine when I turned her around, hoped my fist was in the correct spot, and started the Hiemlich. It worked. She took a few minutes to recover and finish her lunch, then went out to play with her friends. I, on the other hand, took a little longer to recover. The scene has been playing over in my head ever since a read a passage in Hebrews. In Chapter 5, the author paints an unfortunate picture: Believers who should be mature enough to eat solid food, but can't move past the infant milk phase. That's me. The reason I know it's me is because, at the moment, I'm choking on the solid food, desperately in need of the Heimlich. I'm having a hard time trusting the Lord. Life is hard - every part of it! At work, I never quite meet my expectations. I want to make a difference, strive for excellence, teach with purpose, care for every one of my students. But daily, I fall short of that goal. With people, I never quite meet my expectations. I want to love people, help them, think of them first, set aside my insecurities and reach out. Yet, I fall short. At home, I want to create an environment that is inviting to others and refreshing for me. But you guessed it - I fall short. I really want to let go of MY expectations and embrace the Lord's. Everytime I've done that in the past, He's been faithful to His promises. I've experienced great freedom and joy in Him. But for some reason, right now, in this moment, in this season, I can't let go. That sounds awful, but it is the truth. I also hold onto this hope: admitting the truth is the first step towards trusting a faithful God. So I admit that I'm choking....and believe that He'll see me through.

Comments

  1. The Reeds12/11/11, 10:48 PM

    Grace and truth.

    Be gracious and kind with yourself. Whatever is pure, lovely and right... think of such things.

    Truth.

    When you are honest with yourself you have so many pure, lovely and right things about you.

    You're such a lovely child of God and I'm so glad I got to spend so many blessed (and laughter filled days with you). They are treasured memories for me.

    and that's the truth.

    p.s. I always love when you share your heart. It's beautiful.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Grandma

Image
It's Tuesday night, 10:30 pm. I'm supposed to be packing for our school's high school retreat, grading quizzes, and going to bed. But I know that the absolute best thing to do right now is to pause in this moment and praise the Lord for my grandmother. I received word this evening that she doesn't have much time on earth left. I'm eternally grateful that her life has been full - full of love, full of hope, full of laughter, full of service, full of the Lord. Soon, she will be free from pain, free from a clouded mind, and free to worship her Savior forever. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to be a part of Grandma's family. Thank you for her sweet spirit. Thank you for her servant's heart, particularly in caring for children. Thank you that she cheerfully helped me memorize verses for Awana, gently encouraged me to practice my trumpet, and wisely guided me to be a better oldest sister during the years she lived with my family. Thank you th...
Read more

Running

Image
I ran 7 miles today. I tell my students that and they freak out. Except for my cross country runners who are quite used to distances (at a much quicker pace I might add). The thing that surprises me the most is how much of a "head game" I have to play to make the longer distances. My body is able to do 7 miles and more. My mind really wants me to quit after 2. During each run, there are two voices arguing over the music. One tells me that I can do this and will succeed. The other tells me that I have no business attempting this and will fail. I choose which voice wins. As a member of Christ's flock, I hear His voice. I know His voice. And yet I allow a dissenting voice to weasel it's way into my heart and make its argument. Sometimes, I choose the wrong voice. When I choose poorly, I'm grateful that my Shepherd forgives me and will come find me. When I choose correctly, I'm thankful for the faithfulness and sovereignty of the One who knows what is best.  ...
Read more

Weekend truth....

It's been a rough couple of weeks. This time of year is always a struggle. I know that it doesn't have to be. I mean, I know truth. I know that there is life, hope, and rest in my Savior. When I fix my eyes on Jesus, I stop stressing over the details and allow Him to carry me through the big picture. And yet, in October, I often find myself drowning in the details, frantically trying to keep my head above water, oblivious to the life raft right next to me. This weekend was the breaking point.....in a good way. I took Friday off so that I could meet my parents in San Antonio and continue driving to McAllen in order to visit some family and friends. I referred to it as my "mental health" day, but it really ended up being a spiritual health retreat. Friday night, I went to a Casting Crowns concert and was flooded with truth about God's mercy, love, forgiveness, faithfulness, sovereignty, holiness, and love. So often, the routine of every day puts me into auto pilot...
Read more