Lessons of the year...

I tend to look at years or seasons of my life based on the lessons I'm striving to grasp. In Prague, I realized the beauty in the process of becoming like Christ. Convicted of always appreciating the journey after the end result was achieved, I knew I needed to work on finding the blessing and intimacy of Christ in the midst of fear, loneliness, or any other emotion that I usually tried to get rid of quickly. In Indiana, I realized that location and circumstance does not change my purpose and home is wherever the Lord wants you, not where you know the most people. Recently, I've started circling in on my Dallas life lesson....and it all started with a little Christmas tree.

My mom is a clever and creative woman. In high school, she got each of us girls a tiny Christmas tree and fashioned ornaments out of our childhood trinkets, medals, and mementos. As I was putting them on the tree this year, I started to laugh. I couldn't remember what some of them were for or what I did to earn them or why I still hung on to them. I kept thinking, "Why did my parents force me to play the trumpet for 11 years when a few years down the road I would not remember much about it?" My perception of those years was that I had no choice and they required me to do something I didn't care about. But as I hung those ornaments, my perspective changed drastically. As a kid, I had no idea what I was passionate about and my personality tended to avoid things if I wasn't 100% sure I would be good at them. My parents were actually helping me try things so that I could discover what I was passionate about - what the Lord wanted me to do. They knew that I had to give it a fair shot in order to know whether I loved it or not. So, while I was not naturally disciplined, they created an environment of discipline for me.

That's when the lesson hit me: Passion doesn't replace discipline - passion REQUIRES discipline. So often we throw around the word passion, and I, for one, thought that if I found my passion, it would be easier to do what was required of me. I wouldn't ever struggle with handing over consequences to a student or grading tests if I was truly passionate about my work. I wouldn't wrestle with selfishness or conflict when I find the one person I'm passionate about. If I was passionate about Christ, I would never be afraid to share my faith or miss an opportunity to read my Bible. As you've probably guessed by now, I was SOOOO wrong!! Passion was this elusive feeling that I was constantly searching for, so that I didn't have to force myself to do something I wasn't crazy about. It's not anymore. Passion, much like love, is a choice. The feeling can be strong and overpowering, but often, passion is fed by choosing to do the things that are required of me....even when I don't feel like it.

I'm not much of a blogger, but I appreciate the exercise of expressing my thoughts. Being an introvert, the thoughts tend to stay inside, so, if you're still reading, I'm thankful for your part in teaching me to open up!